Mom, friends, educators, students: We dont have to assign papers, and we should stop. We need to admit that the required-course college essay is a failure. The baccalaureate is the new high-school writing paper in college diploma : abjectly necessary for any decent job in the cosmos. As such, students (and their parents) view college as professional training, an unpleasant necessity en route to that all-important piece of paper.Todays vocationally minded students view World Lit 101 as forced labor, an utter waste of their time that deserves neither engagement nor effort. So you know what else is a waste of time? Grading these students effing papers. Its time to declare unconditional defeat.
It wastes 15 hours of my time to mark up my students flaccid theses and non sequitur textual evidence, not the best article writing service to mention abuse of the comma that should be punishable by some sort of lawall so that you can take a cursory glance at the. Whats more, if your average college-goer does manage to read through her professors comments, she will likely view them as a grievous insult to her entire person, abject proof of how this cruel, unfeeling instructor hates her. That sliver of the student population that actually reads comments and wants to discuss them?Theyre kids whose papers writing a essay in third person are good to begin with, and often obsessed with their GPAs. I guarantee you that every professor you know has given an A to a B paper just to keep a grade-grubber off her junk. (Not talking to you, current students! Youre all magnificent, and going to be president someday.Please do not email.). When I was growing up, my motherwho, like me, was a contingent professorwould sequester herself for days to grade, emerging Medusa-haired and demanding of sympathy. But the older I got, the more that sympathy dissipated: If you hate grading papers so much, Id say, theres an easy solution for that.My mother, not to be trifled with when righteously indignant (that favored state of the professoriate would snap: Its an English class. I cant not assign papers.
To write, and consist accordingly of arguments that are at best tangentially related to the coursework, font-manipulated to meet the minimum required page-count. Oh, attitudes about cultures have changed over time?Im so glad you let me know. Nobody hates writing papers as much as college instructors hate grading papers (and no, having a robot do it is not the answer). Students of the world: You think it wastes 45 minutes of your sexting time to pluck writing an essay harvard out three"s from. The Sun Also Rises, summarize the same four plot points 50 times until you hit Page 5, and then crap out a two-sentence conclusion?
Everybody in college hates papers. Students hate writing them so much that they buy, borrow, or steal them instead.Plagiarism is now so commonplace that if we flunked every kid who did it, wed have a worse attrition rate than a mooc. And on those rare occasions undergrads do deign to compose their own essays, ranking best american essays said exegetic masterpieces usually take them all of half an hour at.m.